


Immovable

by jesileigh



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fighting, Hurt/Comfort, Spec, season 5
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-30
Updated: 2017-03-30
Packaged: 2018-10-12 20:41:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10499082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jesileigh/pseuds/jesileigh
Summary: His Felicity--his beautiful, brilliant beacon of hope--how could he have let her fall so far?Spec based on promo for 5x19





	

“For the last time Oliver you are  _ not _ the boss of me!” Felicity screams, placing her hands squarely on his broad chest and shoving him as hard as she can. It is the perfect visual definition of an unstoppable force meeting an immovable object. He doesn’t even sway where he stands. Instead he takes a deep breath and sets his jaw, his eyes fixed on the wall behind her.

“You can’t do this, Felicity,” he repeats. His lack of reactivity only fuels the raging fire within her and a primal, furious scream rips through her before she takes a breath to center herself and steps up to him once more.

 

“Then you’re going to have to stop me,” she challenges him. Her eyes narrow and he notices how her nose flares out a bit the way it always does when she is fuming. 

 

“Felicity, please,” he says softly, “Don’t make me do that. Because I will if I have to.”

She hesitates for a moment, then charges at the door behind him. He blocks her, putting his hands out on either side of him to cover more ground. Undeterred, she tries to duck under his outstretched arms but he’s faster and in a moment he’s got her wrapped in his arms, holding her firmly to his chest. She lets loose another angry shout, struggling against the hold he has on her, but he merely tightens his embrace. 

 

“Let me go!” she demands, flailing and swinging a fist at him.

 

“I can’t. I won’t let you risk your life like this. I can’t lose you, Felicity, I--” he stops himself, closing his mouth and biting his tongue as he lets her go, setting her back down on the ground as she wrestles free. She turns around and screams again,

 

“Say it!” Oliver takes a step back, his brow furrowed.

“What?”

 

“Just say it! Whatever it is you’ve been keeping yourself from telling me? Stop being a coward and just say it already!”

 

They just stare at each other for a long moment, their heaving breath the only sound in the room apart from the fire crackling in the fireplace behind them. Oliver opens his mouth and closes it again as he tries to do as she’s asked of him, but when the words won’t come out Felicity just shakes her head in disappointment and turns away from him. Finally, he speaks.

 

“I love you.”

 

Felicity freezes, her hands balling into tight fists at her sides and her heart seizing before dropping into her stomach, the three words feeling like a knife to her gut.

“Oliver--” she says, her voice breaking.

 

“Please,” he whispers, taking three or four steps closer to her. “Listen, I know that things will never be the same between us. I ruined us. I know that. But I can’t--I can’t lose you, Felicity.”

 

Her shoulders slump forward and she reaches for the back of the arm chair she’s next to for support. It’s been just over a year since she got her legs back. A year since the first thing she used them for was walking away from him. And in a year they hadn’t once had the conversation they should have had. It was never the right time. So they’d ignored the festering wounds they were both sporting. They’d put on a show for everyone around them so no one would feel uncomfortable. They’d gone on being teammates and doing their best to never be alone together, lest the elephant in the room refuse to be ignored any longer. But now their time had run out.

 

Oliver closes the last of the distance between them, reaching tentatively to place a hand on her shoulder. It’s the first time he’s initiated any kind of touch since the night that summer that neither of them had spoken of since, but in this moment he doesn’t care about the boundaries and the walls they’ve built around themselves. Right now he just needs to feel her. To ground himself and assure himself she’s alive and real and  _ there _ . She shudders at the feel of his fingers on her skin and she sucks in a shaky breath but can’t bring herself to look at him. 

 

“It doesn’t matter, you know? It doesn’t matter that you’ll never be my wife--” his voice cracks on the word and Felicity feels her throat start to close up as hot tears prick at her eyes. “It doesn’t matter because you’re still my partner. You’re still my best friend and my confidant and my...my family. You’re my whole world, Felicity.”

 

She finally looks up at him and he smiles sadly at her, his eyes red and brimming with his own unshed tears. The look on his face is her undoing. Her tears begin to fall and she sobs when he tilts his head at her and reaches to wipe them away before he continues.

 

“I love you. And I will always love you. No matter what happens between us, that is never going to change,” he promises. “That’s why I can’t let you go out there tonight. I won’t.”

 

“I have to do this, Oliver,” she tells him gently, willing him to understand the conundrum she faces. “I don’t have a choice anymore.”

 

Oliver shakes his head at her, refusing to believe her. Refusing to accept that she could have gotten in so far over her head that she would sell her soul to defeat an enemy. His Felicity--his beautiful, brilliant beacon of hope--how could he have let her fall so far?

 

“I’m going to find Chase,” she insists. “And when I do I’m going to kill him, Oliver.”

 

“Felicity, I told you--” he lets out a groan of frustration. “I told you we would get justice for Billy and we will--I swear to you we will! But you can’t...I cannot let you do this. There is no coming back from something like this and you--” He is frantic, desperate to make her understand. The idea of this pure, loving woman taking a life with her own hands is so revolting to him that he feels nauseous. He feels lost and terrified at the prospect--what is one supposed to do when his moral compass has lost her way? What had he done to her to make her speak so nonchalantly about murdering someone? Even someone as evil as Chase?

 

“Oh God, Oliver,” she sighs. Her head falls forward and she shakes it at him in exasperation. “You don’t get it, do you?” Oliver frowns at her and shakes his head in return. “This was never about  _ Billy _ . Yes, he was a good man. And no, he didn’t deserve to die. But I didn’t go up against Black Siren and join Helix to avenge the death of a man I couldn’t even bring myself to call my boyfriend.”

She has to walk away again, her emotions rising and overflowing as she speaks. She leans on the leather chair again, taking a breath and composing herself. 

 

“I thought--” Oliver begins, but she turns back to him, cutting him off.

 

“It wasn’t real,” she admits. “That night on the balcony? You asked me if it was real...it wasn’t. I didn’t love him. At best he was a distraction. A piece of normalcy in a life where I was falling apart in every way and was trying to pretend I had it together. He was a way for me to convince myself that I was okay and that I had moved on. From the team leaving, from my father disappearing again, from losing Laurel, from Havenrock...from you.” 

 

Oliver studies her intently, trying to understand. 

 

“But then why did you throw yourself so hard into taking down Chase since he died? The things Helix has made you do for information, Felicity--it’s not right.”

 

“Chase is a monster,” she says venomously. “He’s a monster who tricked you into killing an innocent man. Who tortured you and hurt you and messed with your head so badly that you came home more broken and lost than I’ve ever seen you. He convinced you that you don’t deserve love or happiness. He made you actually believe that  _ you _ are the monster. He’s spent the better part of a year trying and succeeding at utterly destroying the man I love so yes--I’ve made it my personal goal to take that son of a bitch down. No matter the cost.” Felicity stops to take a breath, closing the distance between them and reaching to press her palm to Oliver’s cheek. He leans into her touch and holds back the sob that tries to wrench itself free from his chest. 

 

“I won’t let him win, Oliver. I won’t stop fighting until he has paid for everything he’s done to you and you start believing that you are a hero and a good man.”

  
With that she leans up and presses her lips to his in a chaste kiss that conveys everything she needs him to know. And when she heads for the door again he doesn’t try to stop her. But he does follow her when she leaves to make sure she stays safe. After all, she’s made it clear she isn’t done fighting for him, and he’ll never stop fighting for her. 


End file.
